I Knew You Were Trouble

“Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble”

-“I Knew You Were Trouble” by Taylor Swift

Had I written that song for these past few weeks, I would change the line to “Now I’m sitting in a cold hard chair.” Because THAT is how cold these classrooms are. And the mornings have been pretty cold, too, like, 60 degrees (Yes, I know that 90% of the country would be so grateful for 60 degree weather right now, but compared to the usual 80, it is COLD!).

So, trouble… Something I do my best to stay out of. But, as we all know, it has its own way of finding me. Last Tuesday it haunted me all day long. Most of my classes were in trouble. The geometry class freshman finally danced on the teacher’s last nerve. Trouble 1. In English, we had a sub who was supposed to take us to the computer lab after lunch to write our essays. On the way, my class decided to be so loud and boisterous that another teacher came out of her classroom. Trouble 2. Then, the sub decided we weren’t responsible enough to go to the lab and made us go back to the classroom and hand-write our essays. Trouble 3, 4, 5…. (And may I add, I was not the one who deserved any of it AND my essay is quite excell ent, in my opinion). The rest of last week is all a blur.

And then came the weekend. Moving into a new house isn’t the quickest task, so my weekend left me little time to study for the two tests I had today. Honestly, I think I did the best I could on my guitar test. I told myself, Strive for a B. All I want is a B. Barre chords are hard!! The geometry test the next period was, thankfully, rather easy, though looong.

And now I have another meteor hurtling towards my earth: pre-arranged absence forms. I’m going out of town this week for Christmas (can’t wait to see you, Mammy!! :D), and so I have to get the form signed by my parents at home and then ALL my teachers tomorrow morning after taking it to the office to be signed…. Good thing I won’t have to lug around Earl.

But back to speaking of my move, that meant my sister and I rode a new bus this morning. The stop is, thankfully, a lot closer to our house than the previous bus stop was. However, my memory often fails me, and to prevent myself from riding back to my old house this afternoon, I’ve got my bus number written on my hand like one of my mom’s second graders. 🙂 I’m so not missing the bus.

So, yes, I hope the rest of this week goes well, and there is no more trouble than necessary. But I can handle it, right?

And if all else fails: Nine more days til Christmas.

I knew the weeks preceding Christmas break were trouble when they walked in.

Stay strong and fearless,

Kristen

 

Sweeter Than Fiction

“There you’ll stand, ten feet tall,

I’ll say I knew it all along.

Your eyes are wider than distance,

This life is sweeter than fiction.”

– “Sweeter Than Fiction” by Taylor Swift

     I may have noted before the deep affinity I have for reading. So, you can imagine how the thought of life being considered “sweeter than fiction” would appeal to me. It’s a phrase that’s been on my mind since yesterday morning when I downloaded the new Taylor Swift song by the same name (And let me tell you, it was quite a good way to start off my week 🙂 ). One of my favorite lines says, “Now in this perfect weather, it’s like we don’t remember the rain we thought would last forever and ever.” I smile when I hear that line, because I love the realization that the “rain” doesn’t last forever, and life is always brighter after the storm. That’s when the rainbows come out, right?

      I think that I’ve seen a lot more rainbows this year. Not just because it rains more in this region of the country, but because I’m so happy. If you had asked me back in August, I would have only been able to tell you that I was terrified about starting all over again (again!) at a brand-new school. But now, I’m happy to say I know I made the right choice. 🙂

     Today is the last day of the nine weeks, meaning grades will come out and I have survived my first quarter of public high school! <insert applause here> Wow….

     So, what can I say? It’s good. Other than being pre-distracted by the fact that my favorite band Heffron Drive is FINALLY going on an American tour and tickets are on sale and really really wanting to go (to the point where I accidentally threw papers at my geometry teacher! 🙂 ), I’m doing well. When my sister and I received our quarter grades of 100 in geometry yesterday, several of our classmates chorused astonishment, like we had done the impossible (just mentioning, we had Algebra II last year, which I think is making geometry easier since we went over the basics, and our Algebra I class was really good about the constructions and graphing!!). I’ve finished reading my library book, and so I’ll get a new one sometime tomorrow (ahh, the things that excite us nerds!). And, to top it all off, I actually did well on my guitar proficiency today!

     Speaking of guitar class, have I mentioned before that I’m basically the resident pick-dealer? Whenever someone needs to borrow a pick, they come to me, for I own a plethora of guitar picks for some odd reason. So, like usual, I’d lent out a few today, and I had one non-decorative pick left. Well, I lost it. And, right as I realized that I had lost it, the teacher asks the class, “Does anyone have a pick I can borrow?” All eyes turned to me. My name was said. I hesitantly selected what I hoped would be the least strange pick to lend him, choosing a Taylor Swift pick with the RED album cover art on it. (Hey, it was either that or one of my Big Time Rush two, and nobody touches my Kendall Schmidt pick! 🙂 ). I brought it up to him, apologizing for the kind of pick it was. He only thanked me. And then, literally right after he returned my Taylor pick, I found the Fender one I’d lost. That’s the trouble with Swifties…

  

     So, in a nutshell, as these first nine weeks wind down,  I am “happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way” (another T. Swift quote, from “22”). But, yeah, it’s good. I think I like where I’m at in life, and where I’m headed. It can only go up from here. And one day…

“There you’ll stand, next to me,

All at once, the rest is history.

Your eyes, wider than distance,

This life is sweeter than fiction!”

– “Sweeter Than Fiction” by Taylor Swift

    And with a life sweeter than fiction, any lemons it throws my way will be turned into some pretty tasty lemonade 🙂

Stay strong and fearless,

Kristen

 

 

I Want Crazy

“Well, I don’t want good and I don’t want good enough… I don’t want easy, I want crazy.”

– “I Want Crazy” by Hunter Hayes

 

     The only way to describe today was with one of my recent favorite songs, “I Want Crazy” by country artist Hunter Hayes. I’ve realized in my life that nothing is ever normal. My life and I have never been what’s classified as “average.” This I sometimes resent, but for today I am thankful.

     It’s no secret I’m generally a rather shy and awkward person who gets myself into messes it generally takes a miracle to get myself out of. This morning, as my sister and I were standing in the commons area waiting for the bell to ring, I realized, being the huge dummy that I am, I had forgotten my lunch. My very caring sister gave me her apple, and I planned to fill up with my HUGE water bottle. That was my plan for this surely less-than-fantastic day.

     First period was guitar. Earl (my guitar) and I headed down the too long a walk to the band room, only to discover that the teacher is still out with his wife who just had a baby last week. The class had a sub for a sub, so there were no lesson plans, and we were set loose to do what we could with our guitars. You know what I can do with my guitar? Nothing.

     So, I shut Earl back in his case and pulled out my English book to study for my vocabulary test. Alone and quiet again. Great fun. After a while, I headed to the bathroom for just a second and a reality check. Looking in the mirror, I took a deep breath and remembered the decision I’d made this weekend: I wanted to trust God completely in everything and desire only Him, even if it was crazy (“I don’t want easy, I want crazy,” I had prayed, knowing that things of God don’t often make sense or are simple). I went back out, finished my studying, and pulled out my notebook.

     Hiding within the pages of my notebook is a habit I have long entertained. I love to write; it’s the reason I’m taking guitar in the first place. I want to be able to put music to songs I write (Swiftie much?). So, I was just writing away, and eventually I finished and put my pen down for a second.  “Are you writing songs?” one of the girls sitting near me asked.

       “Well, yeah,” I replied quietly. She, her friend, and I discussed writing for a few minutes before the girl asked if she could see one of my songs. I hesitantly turned my page to a completed one and handed it to her. As she read, her friend was playing a Hunter Hayes song from her iPod. I commented that I loved Hunter, and we talked about him.

     Handing my notebook back to me, the other girl asked if I sang the songs I wrote. I told her not really, and that was why I was learning guitar. “I want to hear you sing,” she said. I eventually complied, softly singing part of Hunter’s “I Want Crazy.”

     “Let’s all sing it!” the friend with the iPod said, playing the song. So, the three of us sat in a circle, quietly singing Hunter Hayes songs while everyone else who could actually play guitar was in their own world. A few of the guys laughed at us, but we didn’t care. It was pretty fun 🙂

     After guitar was geometry. We are learning basic constructions, and I do mean basic. This was literally pre-algebra stuff for me, and this is supposed to be the honors class. So, I have little homework that shouldn’t take me long. Let me tell you, I much prefer this geometry to the Algebra II I had last year. I cannot graph for my life.

     Third period I had English and that vocabulary test I’d been studying for. I could have kicked myself when it was over because one question I thought I didn’t have the right answer to I actually had known. Haha pains of those who care too much 🙂 But the rest of English was review about gerunds, again. I answered one question right aloud, and the football player beside me cheered for me again. He makes class interesting…

     Then was my lunchtime dilemma. I had no food and no friends. However, as I came to realize today, God loves me enough to have everything under control. Remember what I said earlier about things of God not making sense? Well, so, during geometry there was an announcement about something called “Girl Talk” that would be held in a classroom during lunch. There would be food, so I went.

     It turned out to be a Youth for Christ led weekly girls’ Bible study. I think I may continue going. Funny how God used something as irritating as forgetting my lunch (and having no money to purchase one 🙂 ) to answer one of my hardest and longest prayers of the summer- to somehow find Him in public school. And I think I may have 🙂

      By the end of the day, I was so ready to just grab Earl and get on that bus. Laying with my head against his case and my iPod playing Hunter Hayes into my ears, I had one of those “how different my life is now” moments. Yeah, it’s not easy, and it’s been crazy, but with God leading, how could it not be incredible?

     So, in life, never settle for good enough or even good. Seek God first and look for the crazy. The things that make sense and are safe aren’t from Him, it’s the crazy, just- trust-Me-with-your-life, faith alone kinds of things that make life worth living. I don’t know about you, but I sure want crazy.

     “Are you with me baby? Let’s be crazy!”

Stay strong and fearless,

Kristen

#Awkward

Today was something alright… First of all, just letting you know I am the world’s worst guitar player in history. Granted, it is only my second time actually holding the thing, but still, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t be worse. I think the main problem is that my hands are small and and my dear Earl (my guitar) is rather large. We started doing the most basic notes in class today, and I am struggling to keep my stupid pinkie on the fretboard. But I know, I know, I’ll get better with practice and not everything’s going to come easily. Still, it was quite frustrating for nine in the morning….

Speaking of the morning, I’m pretty sure I almost fell off the bus backwards this morning when I was trying to shove Earl up that very narrow set of stairs to get in the bus. I’m terrified that one day I am just going to fall and him land right on top of me. We are almost the same size, after all.

Second period, geometry, my favorite class in the universe! (Yeah right). At least it’s pretty easy so far. I’m still allergic to math, though. We’re not friends, nor have we ever been.

Third period was English. In this class, I sit beside a football player. Last class, he was super hyper and talkative, which I thought was just because he was excited for the game that night. But, no, I found out today he must just be like that all the time. The funny part is he doesn’t talk to other students, he talks to the teacher, who is also rather easily distracted. After I answered a question right out loud, the football player entertained himself for an entire minute by singing me a victory song, along the lines of “You go girl, go shawty,” or something to that extent.

Halfway through English is lunch (yes, the dumbest schedule move ever, why not just have B lunch after third period??). I do not like A day lunch because I am without my best friend, my sister. So, like a typical A day, I sat at a table alone and unpacked my PB&J. Soon, though, a senior girl who’d been talking to one of her friends about how her other friends were mad at her sat in front of me. She asked my name and then told her friend, “See? I’m even meeting new people!” They continued to go on about her lunchtime drama for 20 minutes straight. After finishing my lunch, I went out to the commons (the main hall) and away from the awkward situation.

However, another awkward situation awaited me in the commons. I sat down on the steps to read my book for the remainder of lunch. A few minutes later, someone was sitting beside me. He scooted closer and moved away again. I glared up at him, and he left. It had been one of the same freshman boys who had on Friday decided to irritate me. His cohort then came over to me and said, “I’m sorry, my friend is stupid.” I responded without really thinking, “I can see that.” He then continued in mock concern, “Are you okay? You’re all alone.” I was like, “I’m fine; I’m reading my book.” And I walked away to find a peaceful place to read.

I think he must think I’m a freshman, too, and he probably only wants my attention. Naturally, the only time people really notice me me is when very immature freshman think I’m one of their own kind. It was very very irritating in the moment, but as I walked away I laughed to myself. It felt like the whole “my life is a bad made-for-TV-movie” thing all over again. It sure didn’t help my hunch that everyone thinks I’m a freshman, though.

Do you remember Quinn from “Zoey 101”? I think that’s what I look like with my glasses. She looked younger than the rest of them, because she was short, too. She was also awkward and individualistic. So many times today I thought I am Quinn. Well, she was also the smart one of the bunch, so maybe a comparison isn’t all that bad 🙂

In last period, World Music, we FINALLY didn’t listen to Michael Jackson!!! We actually cracked open the book and went over the first chapter. But for the last half hour of class we did nothing. So, I did my reading for English ( The Scarlet Letter, which I have already read and disliked). Finally, the bell rang, I grabbed Earl from the closet, and I dragged my stuff out to the bus. I was very pleased to find that the bus ride is the perfect length to listen to the entire Heffron Drive EP 🙂

So tonight I have homework, of course. Wish me luck as I embark on a journey into the worlds of my two least favorite subjects!! At least it can only go up from here, and if all else fails, tomorrow is a brand new day full of awkwardness and new adventures!

Stay strong and fearless,

Kristen